One of the first things my therapist asks me when we have a session is, what have I done for myself?! For the longest time I had to sit and think about it. What self love have I done for me? Did I do anything for me?
Jeeze that is kind of pathetic! It can be so easy to put myself last and behind everyone else. Why would I take time for me when one of my kiddos is crying and needs me? Or the dishes are piling up and about to fall on the floor? Or about a million other things.
And that right there is why you, me, all of us need to make sure we are giving to ourselves. When we give ourselves some much needed self care time we should have enough to give to others. We must allow ourselves to put us first once in a while.
The concept of self-love may seem selfish. But I am going to argue that it is the complete opposite. It is selfish to always think of everyone and everything else first.
Some of the signs I see in myself when I have lacked in self-love are:
- more stress
- easily upset
- feel sluggish
- not wanting to be around people
Here are some ideas you can use to show yourself some self-love:
- working out
- reading a book
- nap (my therapist feels like this is a need, I feel it is both)
- going for a walk
- girl’s/guy’s night out
- dating your loved one
- having a bath
- getting pampered
- write in a journal/reflect on your day
- getting yourself a treat
Basically anything that fills your bucket and helps you to feel whole.
So now when I have a session with my therapist and she asked the same question I don’t have to sit and think about it. I can tell her right off the bat some things that I have done for me. Sometimes it’s a short list. Other times the list is longer.
The point is that I am making an effort for self-love. I am putting some time and thought into me. And in return I am a happier person. There is more of me and my love to go around.
What effort are you making to show yourself more self-love?
Here are some tips for helping you help yourself. 🙂
If the idea of putting you before others starts to make you feel anxious or stressed out then take it one small step at a time. Make a list of things that would show you self-love. Then pick a few days to make sure you get ONE of those things accomplished on each of those few days. It doesn’t have to be the same one each day.
Then as you learn how amazing self-love is you can add more so you are doing one a day. I try to exercise 4-6 times a week. On the days I work out I don’t just say, “There, I’m done with my self-love for the day.” No way, I look for other ways to show myself some love.
Make it a Habit
Making a habit can take a long time (about 66 days from what I have read). But once something is a habit it will become much more natural to do. This will mean that whatever self-love thing you made a habit will be easier, woohoo!! Then you can work on another self-love goal.
Find an Accountability Partner
How much easier is it to follow through on something when you know you need to report to someone else? For me, it is a lot easier. I’m thinking it is for you too. So use this to help yourself. Find someone you trust and love to be your Self-Love Accountability Partner (your SLAP for short… Nope, they cannot slap you if you don’t do your self-love. Haha!).
At the end of each day send them a text, email, or phone call to let them know what you did yourself that day and vice versa. Cheer each other on and help one another improve their self-love.
Self Love Mini FREE Course
If you are still having a hard time getting some self-love done then this free mini course is perfect for you. Of if you are starting to get some self-love, this course is still perfect for you. Sign up here or click on the picture below.
I am so excited for you to invest more love and time for YOU! You are totally worth it! I can’t wait to hear how your mood and life improve. Add a comment to share all of your success or ask me any questions you might have.