My journey through mommyhood, depression, and living day by day.

Can This Day Be Over?

Can This Day Be Over?

It’s 8:04 pm. The kids are in bed, or at least in their rooms. I can hear Miss L playing. I told her I could come say goodnight when I could tell she was in bed and quiet. I can hear Hubby just walking through the door, just getting home from work. He was a bit later then normal for a Saturday night. But so very worth it! He ran to the store for me on his way home. I have already been to two stores today, with all three children, and didn’t want to go after he got home. Now I want to eat away my self pity and unhappiness. But even that seems like too much work right now. So I will just sit and see if writing how the day went will help. Don’t get me wrong, I will still be eating something yummy when I decide to get up.

I guess the day just started off bad, even before it started.

I have been on the computer so much the last few days. My eyes are dying, I gave myself a migraine, and then stayed up way too late last night working. Most of the night I could feel my eyes being tired. Does that make sense? My eyes couldn’t relax and I could tell all night long. UG! Mix that with being 9 months pregnant and needed to get up to use the bathroom. Yep, it was a fun night. Then trying to compensate for the lack of sleep I slept in. Mistake number 5 for the day and I’m not even out of bed yet.

Hubby had to work and leave the house at 8:30. I needed to shower, get ready, do the girl’s hair, pack the bag, cut oranges, and get the kids to a family event by 9:30. Oh and eat breakfast! That should be top priority. 😉 My amazing husband got the kids dressed and feed them breakfast. It still amazes me that I think I can do so much in so little time, with three kids added into the mix. Needless to say we were late. However, I did get everything done. Take that!

The kids had fun with their cousins. We ate good food. The family event was magical. But it had to end with me in the car with three littles heading to the store. Store number one for the day. I have this feeling (I’m sooo hoping it’s right and not just a want) that baby number 4 might be coming soon!! That would be awesome! There are just a few things I wanted to have done to make things easier. Stocking up on food and making sure we have everything we need for the rest of our December meals is one of them. Which meant I got to had to take them to the store with me. Yay (cue the unhappy yay). I’m pretty sure the WHOLE store heard Miss L cry for a sucker I wasn’t going to buy for her. Then cry because I wasn’t buying anything for her. Then cry because I wouldn’t let her help me put the eggs on the belt. For the record I did not buy her a sucker or any of the things she asked for, all junk by the way. But the eggs, you bet I let her help me until she started pulling them off the belt. I could just imagine all 18 eggs, broken, on the floor, not something I wanted to see in real life. I stayed calm. I tried to console her. But the crying wouldn’t stop. The cute cashier lady was so sweet and was very kind to me. The darling mom and her daughter ahead of us were beyond amazing. They gave my littles fruit roll-ups, that they just bought, two each. At least Miss L cried a little softer for a bit then finally stopped.

I swear to you it must have looked like I was 90 trying to push the cart up the slight (read: tiny, barley there) hill to my van. I’m telling you walking is hard. Throw in a contraction while pushing a cart of food with a two year old in it and two kids holding on. On MAN! After I got the kids and food into the car I sat down and huffed and puffed like I just completed an hour long spin class. The one thing that got me to start the car and head home was nap time. Cue the angles singing and the stars brightly shinning.

Well let’s just fast forward to getting home… Miss S was in a deep sleep. I decided to change her diaper and clothes. Well that was mistake number 15 for the day. She never went to sleep after that. Never. She sure stayed in her room for a bit. I even attempted to give her milk and read a story half was through. She stayed quiet for a little while but that’s not the same as a nap. Miss L only had one fit because she couldn’t get her dress off and I guess she didn’t want to listen when I told her I would help her as soon as I laid Miss S down. But after that she had a long, glorious nap. Way to go, Miss L! After putting the groceries away, tiding up the kitchen, getting the last two gifts wrapped to send the 12 days of Christmas to a niece all done Mr. E and I headed upstairs to my room.

wrapping gifts

Mr. E is past naps but will still do quiet time. On the days he doesn’t have school he will usually do a short quiet time in my room. Sometimes I nap in there while he does. Other times I will be productive elsewhere. Cute Mr. E has been really excited and into Christmas. He has collected some of his old toys to give to some friends and cousins. He has also been way into writing and making notes for his friends. While I was laying the girls down he had brought up some of his writing stuff and set it up on my nightstand. While I got comfy in my chair Mr. E started doing his thing. He will talk to himself and sometimes doesn’t have the softest voice, so there was lots of reminding him to whisper. But after a small nap it was time to get a move on with the rest of our day.

The kiddos and I made brownies last night as part of the 12 days of Christmas so it needed to be sent today. It was 4:00 and as I was checking to see how late the post office was opened when I realized it was too late. Mistake number 19, not checking earlier when the post office closes. You guys, I go to the post office about 3 times a year, if that! I should have know better to check the times, but oh well. My cute niece may have some hard brownies… We still had to leave to get to store number 2 for the day. Now you may be thinking “why in the world would you drag your kids to two different stores?” Let me tell you. 🙂 We are on a pretty strict budget which is to help us pay off our loans. In efforts to get the most bang for our buck I will shop at a few different places. However, I normally don’t plan to go to that many in one day and I usually try to go without my kids; either when Hubby isn’t working or early before leaves for work. We also go through loads of produce and I need to shop at a few different places to get some really great deals otherwise we would starve for half the month.

Store number 2 wasn’t too bad.

But I was in a grumpy mood and my patient level was, well, there wasn’t much. Miss S fell asleep on the way home from the store, go figure! She woke up the second I started to lay her on the floor. Can someone please tell me why kids have a hard time understanding that if they want dinner I can’t hold them? After almost tripping multiple times while trying to avoid stepping on my two year old attachment. I am not proud to say that I did not stay very calm. Dinner wasn’t very enjoyable and my headache was back. I just wanted Hubby to be home and for me to hide in a dark hole. I may or may not, okay I totally said things I wish I hadn’t, I also totally yelled, lost my cool, and once again showed my darling children the wrong way to act and express ones emotions. I put the food away, told my children cleaning up the kitchen was their job (also, help me figure out why they don’t understand it’s the same every night! We work together as a family to clean up the kitchen!). I felt like I needed a mic to drop as I walked out and went to lay on the couch. Mom was done!

After messing around and laughing (which always makes me smile) my littles got some cleaning done. As well as, animals getting dumped out, wipes being pulled out by the dozen, brooms dropping by the second, and not much progress. The threats started coming. Seriously guys I just should have drowned my grumpiness with ice cream and gotten over it. But in the end I only had to throw away two chocolate advent calendars. Don’t judge me, they each have two from different people. They will be okay.

 

It’s now 9:02 pm. Mr. E and Miss S are sound asleep, Miss L is talking in her room. Bedtime didn’t go as planned but I did get to snuggle Mr. E and Miss S, tell them I love them more then they know, and how sorry I am for my very bad day and behavior. I just got this sweet text from my Hot Hubby. text from Hot Hubby I’m off to make amends with my cute Miss L and spend some time with my man. Tomorrow has to be better. I hope and pray it will. But deep down I know I might have another tough day with Hubby ending his long work week by working tomorrow.

 

Xoxo
Stephanie
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