My journey through mommyhood, depression, and living day by day.

Hello Again

Hello Again

Well, hello there! Many goals to launch have come and gone and now it’s April. How did that happen? The last few months have been amazing, hard, wonderful, and crappy all wrapped up in one big package. Let’s start with the good before we get to the bad.

On December 21, 2018 we welcomed our precious, amazing, beautiful baby girl, Miss N. It was a whirl wind of a delivery, one in which I’ll write about later. Just like with her older brother and two sisters it was love at first sight. She was good from the beginning. And by far the BEST physical recovery, I’ll take a non-tear delivery anyday! Anyday!

Christmas was magical, different with a newborn and three other kids, but still amazing. We had family in town, which is always fun. I got to have some good one on one time with Miss N while Hubby took the big kids out and about.

I wanted to launch the blog before Miss N came but could never get it finished. You see, I’m really good about starting something and then either letting it slowly stop or lose interest in it. But with my blog I had put a bit of money into and didn’t want to be out that money. I had also thought about starting a blog for a few years and when I finally found the courage to just do it I didn’t want to not follow through. I knew I would always hate that I gave up on it. So, one goal to launch after another got pushed back by one thing or another.

Here are all my excuses, some better than others.

  1. Stress

As the days went on I was getting more and more stressed about all the back work I would need to do. It wasn’t until I realized that this is my blog, I can do whatever I want. And what I wanted to do was snuggle with my newborn so that’s what I did. She’ll be a newborn just once and I need to soak up every second of it. By the way, I’m still soaking up every second of it and am loving it! After my lightbulb moment of being able to have a break in posts and being able to explain it made me have instant relief. I’m talking an instant physical relief. It was such a nice feeling and gave me the boost of energy to keep going. Now that doesn’t mean I got to work, it was still weeks before I starting writing this post.

  1. Trip

After my new found realization that this is my thing and I am the boss, we had a trip planned. So my goal was to go and enjoy our time with my sister and her family and then get to work. I would have about a week before March started which would have been enough time to finish the few things I wanted to do and launch on March 1st. But then….

  1. The Stinking Flu

We hadn’t been on our trip for more than 2 days before I started to get sick. At first it wasn’t too bad, just a cold I thought. I would take medicine, feel better and we’d go do something. Then I wouldn’t feel so great so I would take medicine again, feel fine for a bit. This cycle happened the whole trip. It wasn’t until the day after we got back that it really hit me. No amount of medicine helped so I finally went to Insta Care. I came home with instructions to do the same thing I was doing. Thanks Doc for letting me pay you to tell me nothing helpful. He didn’t do any strep or Flu tests. And I couldn’t have the good cough medicine because I’m nursing sweet Miss N. The next day I had her 2 month well check. If your pediatrician is amazing and busy as mine then you understand why I couldn’t cancel. Both our awesome nurse and doctor said I most likely had Influenza B by the sound of my cough and my symptoms. Great! They wrote a scrip (that’s pharmacy lingo for prescription, I’m married to a pharmacist) for TamaFlu for my newborn just in case. It was a full week before I didn’t feel like death. Thank goodness for amazing grandmas that came everyday Hubby was working, which was only one day. I laid in bed trying to rest and sleep until Miss N needed to nurse. With grandmas there I did shower everyday which is a miracle. Pretty sure my big kids ate a bunch of junk and watched loads of TV. But they were safe, got to spend tons of time with their life savers of grandmas. Towards the end of the Flu I got a sinus infection and thought I was going blind, but that’s a story for another day. Once I wasn’t dead to the world (thank you flu and sinus infection) I had a cough that lasted for about another week or so.

  1. Sick Kids

Only my big girls got sick. And thank goodness it wasn’t nearly as bad as me. They had runny noses, little coughs, and fevers that would come and go. So almost a month of me being sick, and then having my cuties getting sick totally ruined my plan of doing any blogging. My new launch goal of April 1st was a no go.

  1. The Big D

While I was still sick I had my post-partum check up with my OBGYN. It was pushed back to 8 weeks because I was getting an IUD put in. But my genius self made Miss N’s two month check up on the same day and same time so I needed to reschedule. Guys, I had the IUD in for a few days before I went crazy! Like legit crazy! I was depressed, angry, annoyed most days since then. Anyone who has suffered from depression understands the lack of joy in anything and the lack of desire to do anything. I felt stuck in a spinning world and all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and sleep.

So that’s where we are right now. At this exact moment we are somewhere in Oregon on our way to visit Hubby’s sister and her family. I knew we would be in the car for dayssssss, at least it would feel like daysssss. I knew it would be a good time to write some blog posts. So for now my new launch date is before my kids are grown and out of the house. HA! Fingers crossed that this goal sticks and I can officially launch.

Xoxo
Stephanie
0 Shares


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *